Useless inventions (an ever-growing list of fun things to think about)

I have an obsession with useless inventions. These are products that are so pointless that;

  1. Nobody would ever want to have them
  2. They actively decrease quality of life

Here’s a list of what I’m thinking of:

  • A spinning pole for pole dancers that acts as a screw so the pole gets shorter when you spin in one direction and longer when you spin in the other direction
  • A motion-activated tap where the motion sensor is on top of the tap
  • A corkscrew that drills a hole so you can pour wine through the mangled cork instead of pulling the cork out
  • A water bottle that spills out water if you don’t drink enough of it by a certain amount of time (to encourage people to stay hydrated)
  • A dog harness that goes around the dog’s back legs instead of its front legs
  • Connect the dots: rope edition! A pack of foot-long rope segments. If you want something longer, you’ll have to tie the segments together
  • A martini glass with a spin-top base
  • A very sticky laptop cover in case you want to stick your notes onto your laptop
  • A dress with pockets at the hem and not by the hip
  • A shower cap made from thin rice paper
  • A mug intended for very hot drinks with a handle that goes inwards
  • A double sided ice cube tray
  • A fur lined toilet bowl
  • An emergency street crossing button that instantly gives incoming traffic a red light when pressed
  • A wallet shaped like a cube
  • A bagpipe-esque soda cup with two valved straws so one person has to blow into a straw for another person to be able to drink out of the cup
  • A syringe needle that expands like a drywall screw anchor
  • A treadmill with a rocky belt to simulate off track running
  • A pencil with a wooden core and a graphite exterior
  • A heat deactivating vibrator
  • A coaster for hot pots and pans with a heat conducting metal center
  • A squeegee with a scalloped edge
  • A bundt cake tin shaped rice cooker bowl
  • A chopstick with rose-thorn like protrusions down its side
  • A 2-in-1 tool that is both a speculum and a pepper grinder
  • A one-piece puzzle
  • Toilet paper that is sticky on one side
  • Toilet paper that is sticky on both sides

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Last updated 1/2/2024